After months of tests, retests, waiting, and praying. On November 26th we received the news outside of a miracle, we will not conceive a child. The truth is I had prepared myself to get this news. The sting of the pain that I felt in that moment wasn’t as sharp as I expected it would be. Grace. God had been preparing me for that day my entire life. In the few months before that day I had been waking up with nightmares in the middle of the night… A baby in a dark room screaming, A toddler in a basement screaming, “Mommy!!” I would wake up in tears and Chip would calm me down. I just couldn’t understand why God was torturing me. One day during that time I had coffee with a good friend of mine and she said something that ever since has been the force driving me toward our decision. “Burden plus opportunity, equals calling.” God had began to place on my heart a heavy burden that there was a child out there that needed us. Through those dreams, Jesus was revealing to me the calling He was placing on mine and Chip’s life…
Chip and I have decided, with much prayer that Jesus is calling us to adopt a child. This has not been a hard decision, although I have picked it apart scrutinizing everything to make sure this is the path God is leading us down. We have always wanted to adopt a child, we just assumed it would be after having biological children, but God had other plans. We already love this child more than anyone can imagine, because it is already our child. God knew the day I was conceived, that He would bless me with a child and I’ve held that promise in my heart ever since. Our Father is a promise maker, and a promise keeper.
This child is already a member of a family who loves him/her so much. This child has so many people praying for them. This child gets to begin its’ life surrounded by love.
We are so excited to begin this journey, and though we know there are still “labor pains” ahead, we are so blessed to have friends/family like you to walk beside us every step.
Please pray for Baby Bordeaux, that he/she will one day begin a relationship with Jesus and use their story to bring glory to Him.
Please pray for the social workers, attorneys, birth mothers, and everyone else that we will cross paths with along the way, that they will see Jesus through us.
Please pray for our family as the news is still reaching some. Pray for understanding and that God can use our story to share His love and our need for Him.
Lastly, please pray for Chip and I… there is a mountain of information, forms, and financial commitments ahead that terrify us. I think the biggest fear is the money; however, I am confident that Jesus has called us to this and that He will provide our every need.
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