Why I don’t want to be a perfect mom…

Becoming a mother has always been a dream of mine. Since Jesus answered that prayer on November 10th, I have never felt more full of love! It’s so true that The Lord wants His children to experience joy “to the fullest” and I know firsthand He gave me my little G to glorify Him with that abundant joy. The thing is, while motherhood has been the most rewarding thing I’ve ever experienced, it has also been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Becoming a mother has taught me selflessness in a way I’ve never known. I’ve had to set aside food, rest, showers—yeah even showers. Yet I can’t wait to wake up again each day and do it all over again, all for the look my son gives me as I watch the corners of his beautiful mouth stretch into the biggest smile I’ve ever seen. And I can’t help but think… what a perfect picture of God’s love for us. He gave the ultimate sacrifice for our sin, and yet He can’t wait to shower us with blessings just so He can watch our cups overflow with joy. During my short time of being a mom, I have discovered one not-so-sweet thing that I think all mom’s have experienced a time or two… and that’s the standards of motherhood us girls use to measure our worth.

For those of you who don’t already know, our son was born with a cleft lip and had been back and forth to appointments with our plastic surgeon leading up to his cleft lip repair surgery. At our first appointment as we were waiting to get on the elevator,  a woman stopped to ooh and ahh over G and how adorable he is. As she started toward the door she spoke up and said, “you are so lucky you lost the weight that fast! It took me months to get back into jeans and I still don’t look that good!” As I bit my lip to keep from letting the first response that came to my mind slip out, it hit me that there are way to many women out there who focus more on what society deems important than on our calling to motherhood. My intent here is not to throw off on her not being sensitive to the fact that I did not birth my son physically… because 1. she had no way of knowing and 2. I don’t want my son’s life to be defined by his adoption… he is ours and we are his. The thing that really breaks my heart is that instead of uplifting each other as women we are constantly reminding each other of our inadequacies. Even if I had carried G 9 months inside of my womb and delivered him, walking away with stretch marks and a body that was shaped differently because of it and being critical of that body or complimenting someone else’s lack of physical changes is not what Jesus wants us focusing on. As Pinterest, Facebook, Instagram, and other social media outlets continue to grow in popularity, our idea of perfection blur the lines of reality and cause us to form ridiculous expectations of what today’s mother should look like. What if we start celebrating what the Lord has called us to, instead of hyper-focusing on what the world has? What if mothers start encouraging each other instead of playing the comparison game. What if we refused to give into the “perfect mom” complex and instead embraced our lack of perfection and the beauty of our need for Jesus to mold us into the mother He wants us to be—as opposed to the mother we want to be. Comparison is a slippery slope friends and I believe Jesus wants more for us as mothers, or mothers-to-be.

Why not try to look for ways to build one another up with support, advice, guidance, and love—starting today? Why not display what your real “mom life” really looks like instead of trying to touch-up the imperfections before posting online. We are sisters and all daughters of the King and I just think it’s time we start treating ourselves that way…

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